2011 Back-to-school ... starting late!

So, this September, my kids will be starting another school year, my two younger ones: a girl 16 (she will be 17 in October) and a boy 15, respectively a junior and a sophomore. Ugh! Where has the time gone? My little babies are growing up so fast... and my bigger one, currently 24 (will be 25 in October) lives in his own apartment that he purchased three years ago, he works and pays his bills and finds the time to spend at least one day a week with his family! I am so happy... but I digress! As I was saying about my younger kids going back to school, this year they are starting very late, their first date is tomorrow, Wednesday, 9/14/2011. Of course, there was a bit of happiness on their side that their summer vacation was extended, there is some fear as well that the end of school might be very late as well, like the end of June. That would be very catastrophic for them, to start the summer hiatus so late... :) There has been construction going on at their High School since last June and the weather we have had the end of August delayed the progression of the work, so the back to school date had to be delayed!
To offset the bit of doom that was hovering over our household, I though it would be great if I took each of my children, separately to clothes shopping and make a day out of it. It turned out so great! I was pleasantly surprised that for once, my son was not annoyed to go shopping; we had decided to stay within a budget and yet to try to be able to purchase the items he needed. He was the one the chose what he wanted, and I was a proud mom to see him check the size and the tag for the price before deciding to try the item. As you know, shopping can make you hungry and thirsty, so it was only right that we would go out to lunch, too, his choice, naturally! Pizza Hut! It was unbelievable to see how much taller than me, he is; but then again, everybody in my family is taller than me!
And then it was my daughter's turn to shop; her shopping was done in two days because we went in a couple of stores. There is always so much to choose and girls like to accessorize. She was so much fun to watch to shop... Just looking at her checking at the racks of clothes, getting a couples of clothing items off the rack, checking the tags for size and price, check for sale or discounts, making mental calculation.... It was so sweet.
I am impressed by the choices she made, they are casual, yet elegant. Conservative yet comfortable. Not flashy yet colorful. She was able to find a medium at such young age. I know I am bragging and gushing... I can't help it... in moment like these, which I may add, are not rare, I just get very emotional about it!
My kids and I had a very full summer, this year; I believe that we bonded even more, I feel, even closer than ever, to them, and tomorrow, their first back-to-school day... well, I will miss them very much and I will have to adjust to the school year as much as them.

Dealing with tragedy...

Emotions, confusion, anger, sadness, total loss of balance... These may be some of the feelings that some of us feel during and/or after a tragedy. Yesterday, Sunday, September 11th, 2011 was the 10th anniversary of the tragedy that happened to the Twin Towers in New York. Many of you spent the better part of Sunday watching documentaries or news in regard to the memorial of 9/11. I did not, I did not want to do that. I knew that I could not handle it. I said a short prayer asking for forgiveness for not openly showing my sadness to the memory of 9/11. I was on Facebook and I saw almost all of my friends changing their profile pic with one that was dedicated to 9/11 and their status reflected their perception of the day. It made me feel guilty that I did not do the same, but I just could not bring myself to just do it... What is wrong with me? Could it be that I am that kind of person that emotionally feels what she does, writes or says? I think so, I do not remember, ever doing or saying things that I did not feel or believe. I guess I am not a fake or a follower; however I feel that I did wrong yesterday! Another thing happened this weekend: in my community, at the High School Football team, 4 young boys, age 15 to 16, they were going to be junior and senior this year, died a couple of weeks ago. On a Saturday, after one of their last practice, following tradition, they got in their cars to drive to a Old Country Buffet for a Breakfast/Lunch celebration before playing their first game.
While driving, one of the car, an SUV that was carrying 8 kids, 4 of which were not wearing seat belt, flipped over, 4 kids died. The High School called all parents, offering grieving counselors to speak with students that needed to grieve. A fund was started by parents to help with funeral expenses now and in the future. As I am very sorry and very much saddened by what happened, I am displeased by the biased way the school is handling the situation.... The past winter, one student took her own life, it was very sad, especially being so close to the Holidays, but also because of the age of the student. The principal allowed students to go to the funeral, however the school did not allow kids to grieve openly about the suicide of this young girl. counselors were not allowed to talk about this tragedy... why? Now about 9 months later, a tragedy occurs, it is not a suicide, the boys are in the football team and everything is done... why this disparaging treatment?
I believe that all students should be treated equally, whether they belong to a sport team, band, cheerleaders, color guard, choir, play and any other club the school offers. So, on Friday the school was offering a BBQ tailgate party before the football game that was played at home. At first I thought it would be nice to go, to show support to the community and to put my feelings aside and move forward. I tried to hold on to that thought because it made me feel good, I could not! When the time came, only my daughter, who this year is a junior, went, she had to go to represent the Literature Club who was having a fund raiser. She left before the game. Am I a bad person? I don't think I am bad, however during these situations, I start second guessing myself and I get lost, not knowing where I am or who I am anymore...

Court and Birthday party!

What a day! How many of you have had to go to Court in the morning and then have to get into the festive mood to celebrate your kid's birthday? My youngest son was 15 years old, yesterday! One thing I have to say, a day that started so sad and gloomy and with rain, too, ended on a real great note with my son's birthday. The entire family gathered and celebrated; it was a lot of fun!
Why I had to go to Court? I will TRY to be brief about it. I have a step daughter (my husband's daughter from a previous marriage). This young adult, at the age of 20 is still seeking child support, she is going to school, she refuses to take a part-time job. She never has or does consult my husband in any decisions, whether it is picking a school, choosing a location where to live or getting engaged...
She was a freshman at AU in Washington DC, she transferred to Saint Peter in Jersey City, NJ as a Sophomore. She just started her Junior year at AU in Paris, France; she is engaged to a man about 10 to 12 years her senior. She says she is not living with him so that she may still receive child support. The Ocean County Courts allowed her to file pro se, free of charge, twice and yesterday, the State of New Jersey picked up the cost of the phone call conference that had to be made while we were in Court because she was in Paris. The judge calling her a nice young lady and not even trying to be understanding of parents in general... Sure, you parents out there... let us pay for our children's expenses till our children are 40 or 50. Let us handicap them and shall they never be able to become indipendent and self reliant. Especially children of divorce. The mother of this nice young lady? She is exempt from paying any child support. Why? Because she is unemployed... Perhaps my husband should become unemployed, too. However, we would not want that, we have 3 children that love us, unconditionally, two of them are still minor and have had to do without so many things because for the last two years their sister had to have her child support... She is too good for a $7.00 per hour job.
Please, God grant me the serenity to accept this situation, fully knowing that there is not one thing that can be done to change it.
To all of you that read this blog, this is not directed to any of you. Please, do not take this to offense. I need to rant to a situation that has been driving this family crazy, sad, frustrated. We are trying very hard not the let "HATE" come into it! Please, feel free to comment.