It is that time of the year... the Winter Holidays are here. Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa and the New Year are celebrated. Happy Holidays to all... or so I thought I'd keep my mind set, regardless of what kind of misgivings I might have toward certain people who have crossed roads with me. During this time of the year, I think it proper and Christian and cleansing to, at least try, believe a possibility that things can improve, change; people can turn a new leaf and perhaps redeem themselves and engage in new ways of living! I am so naive, well in this solitary instance, I believe I am... I always want to believe, and I even pray for it, the great chance of things turning a great way!
My stepdaughter who took my husband to court to have child support continued although she is 20, never tried to establish a relationship with my husband, my children (her half siblings and stepbrother) and me. She has made decisions never once consulting with her dad... decisions that required finances back ups! Her reasoning being that she is an adult now, and she should be able to decide on her own what she wants to do... fine! I love that idea and I applaud her for wanting to be independent... but how come my family has to pay for her "Independence"? To top it off, since she is not a Christian anymore, she converted to Muslim a couple of years ago, her very hypocritical self will be serving food at a shelter and eat with the poor! Is that supposed to make me proud and happy for her? I am poor and I do not have money, her father is the only one that works in our family, I have two young children (minors) who need my husband and my assistance more than my stepdaughter does, however she does not have a problem taking from us, with force (through the NJ Courts) and then she actually says that she wants to help the poor... ok!
Another one of her epic actions? Her mom is having problems with money, she has been unemployed for quite a while, she has not paid child support or financially supported this girl for a very long time... even left this child at her parents before my stepdaughter reached the age of 18 or finished HS so that she could move in with her boyfriend. From my own stepdaughter's mouth: "My mother has not provided for me in a long time... it has always been my nanny. My mother has spent the child support money on personal items such as paying for her car payments, buying games, dvds, tvs and personal entertainment!" Uhm, how come is it then that she only brought my husband to court and how come is it that she is so concerned that she will give her mother gift cards for Christmas so that she may buy food... Really!
I do not consider myself to be a vengeful or vendictive person. I think of myself as a tolerant, flexible, considerate, generous and at times very forgiving person... however where my stepdaughter is concerned... reading and hearing what her projects and thoughts are, make me very angry and unforgiving.
Please, if nothing else, this holiday season I would love so very much to have a few infusions of "Believe", "Hope", "Forgiveness" injected in me.
Happy Holidays to all!
